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The Most Controversial Netflix Dating Show Contestants of 2023, so Far

Vanessa Papa had tense interactions with “The Ultimatum: Queer Love” cast.

Vanessa Papa in "The Ultimatum: Queer Love."

Vanessa Papa in “The Ultimatum: Queer Love.”

Netflix


Papa participated on the show with her former partner, Xander Boger, who initially issued the ultimatum to either get married or break up. 

Within the first few episodes, Papa found herself at odds with some of her cast members and even the show’s executive producer noted Papa’s struggles. 

“They felt like Vanessa wasn’t authentically participating in the process or that Vanessa wanted to be there more for fame. Other people felt like Vanessa is not really buying into this process, especially when Xander started to develop feelings elsewhere,” Kinetic Content CEO Chris Coelen told Variety. 

He added that Papa’s confidence that Xander wouldn’t leave her or find another connection on the show caused “resentment.”

“Vanessa would describe Xander as being asexual and ‘Xander would never have feelings for anyone else so I’m just going to be here being on TV, not really putting my relationship at any risk because I don’t think Xander is ever going to be interested in any anyone else by me,'” he said. “And there was a big resentment around that.” 

Boger told Insider that Papa’s asexual comment about her was “degrading.” 

Papa addressed her villain label in an interview with Today to explain why she stopped defending herself from her castmate’s criticism and accepted the villain label.

“You can’t defend yourself to someone who doesn’t even know you or to someone who’s not willing to listen,” she said. “At some point, I just had to stop even thinking about defending myself. Because no matter what I said, it just snowballed more.” 


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